The Conversation Club  

It's time to level up your conversation! 

RPA's Conversation Club is here to support you in building your connection a little at a time. Do this by actively creating meaningful conversations with your spouse. We know this can be challenging and scary. DO IT ANYWAY. 


Introduction

For couples to have robust intimacy-building conversations, there are a few skills each partner must practice. Perfection is not the name of this game. Practice with intention, mindfulness and openness. Jump in and do the best you can. It gets easier. You’ll grow closer. And little by little, you’ll internalize a new set of conversation skills. 

In RPA's Conversation Club, we recognize different types of conversations require different types of preparation. Success begins with knowing what you want the conversation to achieve.  

Conversing gets easier as you do it. Like anything, it takes practice. In some cases, we recommend you establish a Conversation Ritual. Same time – same place – same players. 

Couples who do this work will build a sturdy marital friendship.  And, they won’t fall into that dreaded trap of painful disconnection. Then they won’t wake up 20 years from now, say goodbye to the kids, look at each other, and say 'who are you?’


The Conversation Primer

Initiating a dialogue takes presence and finesse. Many couples stumble through important conversations or avoid them altogether because they don’t know how to start. Our Conversation Primers will make this process easier.  They are packed with actionable ideas that’ll help you understand the nuts and bolts of conversation. Each Primer includes four parts: 

1.  Introduction and Definitions

Effective communication starts with an understanding of the kind of conversation needed to address your particular concern.  In this section, we'll tell you what you need to know and define our terms. 

2.  Things to Consider

Do a bit of preparation and planning. Get clear on the message you want to deliver. This is a list of things to consider to guide your planning. 

3.  Pitfalls to Avoid

When you’re reaching out to your spouse for a deeper connection, you don't want it to backfire. Read this section carefully and make sure you’re ready. If a topic is intense or long overdue, it will require more preparation. Think it through before you sit down with your spouse to have the conversation.

4.  Preferred Outcome

Begin with the end in mind. Don't go in without a preferred outcome clearly formed in your mind. What you want to happen as a result of the conversation? More closeness? Tell your partner about a new limits or boundary you intend to follow?  Talk about a sex life that is missing in action? 

A specific goal will set-up a better conversation.  Of course, there are variables you can't control. Your spouse may want a different outcome. A preferred outcome is just a starting point, and it helps focus the conversation. 

 

The Conversation Club