Take Two Conversations and Call Me In The Morning
When I was in college, I was known as “queen of the all-night diner.” The crown wasbestowed on me by my pals. It was the result of many long nights in a ratty corner booth of the local Village Inn, watching the sun come up after a long, deep, soul-satisfying conversation about the meaning of life. Okay, deep? Not always. Meaning of life? Not so much. Soul-satisfying, oh yes.
What did we talk about? Was Patti Lupone or Angela Lansbury the reigning diva in the American musical theatre? Enough debate would certainly finally settle the matter, we assumed. Or, how about that Biology class? Did you get that thing about those fetal pigs? Ooohh. So gross!!! Or wasn't it sad that Ronald Reagan was shot regardless of your politics…..
We talked about all of that and much more. We shared our opinions. We shared our pain, our plans, and our exquisite hopes and dreams. But mostly, we just shared our stories. It was a wonderful time.
Those conversations connected us and protected us from a world that might have felt pretty scary. Even though I was a total wallflower in traditional social experiences like dances or freshman mixers, the diner was my domain. We were away from the safety of home for the first time, so life felt pretty vulnerable. Those conversations were a soothing balm. They were medicine for our souls.
Being the introvert that I am, I still suck at small talk and have little patience with cocktail parties. But, I live for the deliciousness of a rich conversations. And, more to the point, I need them. Conversation has often been referred to as an “art.” For my purposes, I think of it more as a vital nutrient. Maybe a new kind of Vitamin C. In a big way, good conversations are good for us.
In my work, I often see couples who have lost their ability to have good conversations. Their exchanges are limited to logistics, stonewalling, and monosyllabic responses. This conversational gridlock leads to loneliness, chronic tension, and a certain kind of soul sickness. I'm the therapy doctor who gets out of bed each day to alleviate this suffering.
At Relationship Practice Academy our simply stated mission is to help you feed your soul with good conversations. We have lots of ideas about how to do that. More about that later as you follow our blog.
How are you doing in your marriage as it relates to conversational medicine? Are you getting what you need? If not, do you know why? Do you know what is lacking? Are you hungry for better conversations? Are you getting your conversational needs met elsewhere? We would love to hear how this is going for you. Share your thoughts in the comments area.